Jane Jones

Jane Jones keeps talkin' to me all the time,

An' says "You must make it a rule

To study your lessons an' work hard an' learn,

An' never be absent from school.

Remember the story of Elihu Burritt,

An' how he clum up to the top,

Got all the knowledge 'at he ever had

Down in a blacksmithing shop.

Jane Jones she honestly said it was so!

Mebbe he did—

I dunno!

O' course what 's a keepin' me 'way from the top,

Is not never havin' no blacksmithing shop.

She said that Ben Franklin was awfully poor,

But full of ambition an' brains;

An' studied philosophy all his hull life,

An' see what he got for his pains!

He brought electricity out of the sky,

With a kite an' a bottle an' key,

An' we're owing him more 'n any one else

For all the bright lights 'at we see.

Jane Jones she honestly said it was so!

Mebbe he did—

I dunno!

O' course what's allers been hinderin' me

Is not havin' any kite, lightning, er key.

Jane Jones said Abe Lincoln had no books at all

An' used to split rails when a boy;

An' General Grant was a tanner by trade

An' lived way out in Ill'nois.

So when the great war in the South first broke out

He stood on the side o' the right,

An' when Lincoln called him to take charge o' things,

He won nearly every blamed fight.

Jane Jones she honestly said it was so!

Mebbe he did—

I dunno!

Still I ain't to blame, not by a big sight,

For I ain't never had any battles to fight.

She said 'at Columbus was out at the knees

When he first thought up his big scheme,

An' told all the Spaniards 'nd Italians, too,

An' all of 'em said 't was a dream.

But Queen Isabella jest listened to him,

'Nd pawned all her jewels o' worth,

'Nd bought him the Santa Maria, 'nd said,

"Go hunt up the rest o' the earth!"

Jane Jones she honestly said it was so!

Mebbe he did—

I dunno!

O' course that may be, but you must allow

They ain't no land to discover jest now!—

—Benjamin Franklin King.